Top Ten Tuesday: Books I’d Gladly Throw Into the Ocean

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created by The Broke and the Bookish,
Now, hosted by Jana over at That Artsy Reader Girl 

To take part, just pick your top ten, and add the link here.

 

This is going to be a fun list...

The majority of these books are from my DNF list. Not every book I DNF are books that I hate on a level that I would litter the ocean, but 90% of the books that I would launch into the sun are books that I've DNF'd. With that, I don't really have reviews for most of these books, just slightly ranty short paragraphs. A lot of these are older reads, I've been pretty lucky to not have read horrible books in a while, at worst they are 'meh'.

   I grabbed these books from my DNF shelf on Goodreads, the titles are linked to their Goodreads page.

Fallen Series by Lauren Kate - I read 3 of the 4 books in this series, and absolutely nothing happens. Our MC spends the first book discovering who she is, then the next two trying to find out what happened to her, but that third book is so long and meandering that I was ready to throw myself into the ocean just to get it to stop.

The Unbinding of Mary Reade by Miriam McNamara - So, Mary Reade was a real lady pirate, and her story is so cool, and I was excited to read this historical fiction book about her, but good grief was it boring. The MC, Mary Reade, spends 90% of the book being a dishrag of a character. There is a romance between Mary Reade and another lady pirate named Anne Bonny. They met, both dressing trying to pass themselves as men, they both fell in love with each other not knowing they were both women, (Edit: that's how the historical version of the story goes).
This book focuses more on the romance between them than the pirating and that wouldn't have been a problem if the romance in this book hadn't been boring. 

Bright Smoke, Cold Fire by Rosamund Hodge - I have read a few of  Hodge's other books and really enjoyed them. I had high hopes for this one. A retelling of Romeo and Juliet with Necromancy. Sounds amazing right? Well everybody was insufferable and complained the whole time about their problems but never did anything to fix their problems. 

Playboy Pilot by Penelope Ward - I had to read my short review for this one, but apparently, this book revolves around a young woman who has been barred from her trust fund until she gets married and has a male child, like that is something that can be legally enforced and controlled. There are so many things wrong with that plot. What if she has a medical condition that prevents her from having kids? And even if she doesn't, what if she only has daughters?... is she supposed to keep trying until she has a boy like some 14th-century royalty? 

Under the Empyrean Sky by Chuck Wendig - This was a book that I attempted to read years ago at this point, but it still makes me angry when I remember it. This is a... dystopian(?) about a world where the only crop people are allowed to grow on land is corn, and it also eats people... I honestly don't remember anything else about this book, I was so annoyed at the carnivorous corn, that my brain doesn't remember anything else. The main threat of this book is corn... there are wealthy people who live in the floating castle... or whatever, and even for them the corn is an issue, but... why does the government enforce this corn thing... it just doesn't make sense. 
   I only remember this book as much as I do because I told my husband about why this book made me angry when I first read it,  and he jokingly brings it up all the time, making jokes about werewolf corn.... he's a smartass... lol

The Fly House by Misty Provencher - I was promised Dragons were a main part of this book, and there were no dragons from what I read. It was also a little boring and the plot was confusing.

Real by Katy Evans - At this point, I've read my share of NA-Contemporary Romance, but this one remains one of the worst. It was one of the first of the genre I read and certain scenes were just gross. 

This book also doesn't make sense, the main male character is supposed to be an "underground" boxer, illegal or whatever I guess. And the main female character is a sports trainer, I think... the synopsis doesn't say and neither does my one sentence "don't read this" review. He has a private jet, a manager... and he's an underground boxer. I don't think the author knows anything about underground sports.

Black Ice by Becca Fitzpatrick - So this is one that's not from my DNF list. I actually finished it, but that's only because I was waiting to see if the MC died, she was dumb and "fell in love" with one of her kidnappers, and it's not painted as an issue at all but something "romantic".  Snippet from my short review:

"The story kept me engaged enough that I finished the book in roughly 9 hours, the characters are so painfully stupid and over-exaggerated..."

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  There is one more, that I got from Net Galley but it's not out until June, and I don't want to trash on a book that isn't even out yet. Seems unfair.